How Men Really Feel When Women Masturbate or Use a Vibrator During Sex

"It shows how much she trusts me at a very intimate time."

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While many of us embrace using sex toys without shame (and rightly so!) there is still so much stigma surrounding female pleasure and the pleasure of people with vulvas. And while we may be slightly more sex-positive than we were, say, a decade ago, there's still so far to go. One major hurdle we need to overcome is the idea that women and people with vulvas who use vibrators during sex are replacing their partner. Or, that if they masturbate during sex, it means their partner is doing A Bad Job.

Luckily, a Reddit discussion just opened up about this very topic. On the AskMen thread, one user asked, "How does it make you feel when a girl finishes herself off during sex? Do you mind? Does it feel like a hit to your ego? Do you enjoy it? Honest answers please. I mean her touching herself/using a vibrator during sex." Here's what they had to say...

1. "Great. It's sexy as hell, plus everyone's different. I'm not always going to push the right buttons the right way the first time, but if she shows me while we're doing things, I can pay attention, learn from her, engage the right areas, use the right kind of touch, or use the right toy the right way to help us both enjoy things." [via]

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2. "I’ve been with women who came quite easily, others who rarely ever came, and others who almost never came via a partner. As long as there is communication, no problem, you do you girl. It’s hot to watch too! I will say for toys, just give me a heads up, especially if this is a hookup/newer relationship/first time using a toy. If [we're having sex], and you reach over for a vibrator with this completely disinterested look on your face, then yeah that’s gonna sting a bit, and frankly seems by a bit rude. But, 'Hey, is it cool if I use my vibrator?' is not an issue at all. I enjoy throwing toys in the mix." [via]

3. "Brilliant. It shows how much she trusts me with her feelings at a very intimate time. Or she don't give a fuck and just wants to get off. Either of those is good for me." [via]

4. "I don't mind. I find it nice if she's completely enjoying herself. If you have the confidence to get yourself off next to your partner and not be embarrassed or make the situation awkward....the just do it. It's not an ego hit for me." [via]

5. "It's never happened to me, but I'd like it to." [via]

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6. "No problem. People should know that all women aren't the same with regards to their fun bits and bobs. The outside of the vagina comes in many shapes and sizes and each woman's sensitivity varies. Many factors can cause a woman to not be able to orgasm, and stress is one of the major ones." [via]

7. "If that's what she wants or how she likes it, that's fine with me. I'm happy to continue aiding in that effort otherwise." [via]

8. "I think it is extremely sensual!" [via]

9. "If it's better for her to provide the necessary stimulation herself, than for me to try and fumble around and give it to her, by all means." [via]

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