We tend to associate sex toys with masturbation, as though you only really need 'em as backup when a real-life partner isn't available. Don't get us wrong: a little solo sesh with a Fleshlight (or vibrator, dildo, butt plug, cock ring, or prostate massager...) can be fun. But sex toys can also work wonders for couples and other group sex scenarios.
"Not only can you bring in most toys meant for solo use into couples play, there are toys designed *specifically* for couples play to make the integration as seamless and easy as possible," says sex and relationship therapist Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT. "Sex tech is booming, and we’re all benefiting with a lot more pleasure."
Couples in a sex rut might find a shiny, new toy brings excitement back to their bedrooms, and couples who are already adventurous might use a toy to explore even more avenues for gettin' it on. There are even remote-controlled sex toys that can help couples in long-distance relationships keep the flame alive from far away.
Some guys shy away from using sex toys with a partner out of fear their partners will like them better than their own junk. But dudes: It's not a competition. "Sex toys are NOT replacements for humans," Wright says. Think of them less as threats and more as nifty tools in your orgasm-giving toolbox. "If your partner wants to bring a sex toy [or] pleasure aid into your sex life, they’re inviting you to have fun and create even more pleasure."
How can couples use sex toys?
The options for couples to use sex toys together are limitless, and all of them are your friend! Here are a few ideas to get your imagination going:
•Hold a vibrator against their clitoris during P-in-V penetration (hello, blended clit/G-spot orgasm)
•Use a dildo in their vagina or anus during oral sex (see: the Venus Butterly position)
•Slowly pull anal beads out of their booty during oral or vaginal sex
•Wear a butt plug, hands-free prostate massager, or cock ring during penetrative sex
•Use a vibrator on their clit during BDSM play, such as orgasm Pegging
•Pegging: when a vulva-owner wears a strap-on to penetrate their male partner
What are the best sex toys for couples?
We get it: shopping for sex toys can be overwhelming. Some of the contraptions on the market are so intricate that it feels like it requires an engineering degree to actually know how to use them. To help ensure that you and your partner(s) are filling your toy box with the very best, we asked sex experts to recommend the best couple's sex toys—and threw in few of our own personal favorites, too.
Best Wearable VibratorEva Dame Products Read More
Best Finger VibratorFin Dame Products Read More
Best Handjob EnhancerVariety Pack Tenga Read More
Best Prostate MassagerHelix Syn Trident Prostate Massager Aneros Read More
Best Remote Control Prostate MassagerVice 2 Prostate Massager Aneros Read More
“Eva is a hands-free wearable clitoral vibrator that has legs that wrap around the labia and keep it securely in place during intercourse,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. “What I love is that it provides a constant hum of light clitoral stimulation when worn that is amplified during thrusting when a pelvis meets a vulva. As so many intercourse positions fail to provide direct clitoral stimulation due to the distance between the clitoris and the vaginal entrance, Eva ensures pleasurable direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse.”
“I also really like the Fin vibrator from Dame, which is a wearable finger-tip vibe that really becomes a seamless addition to solo masturbation or partnered play,” Kerner says. “For those wanting to pleasure penises, Fin can really up one's game in terms of hand-jobs and blowjobs and playing with the addition of vibration.”
This isn't your ordinary carton of eggs. It's better. A Tenga Egg "is a disposable penis sleeve that is hilariously packaged," Kerner explains. "Tenga's eggs come in a variety of textures with bumps and grooves that really intensify sensation." Translation: Your handjobs will never be the same.
“So many men are increasingly interested in prostate play (both solo and with a partner), and Aneros is great for newbies to this form of stimulation,” Kerner says. “Their Trident series is small enough to not be intimidating or overwhelming, but perfectly designed for a variety of types of male G-spot stimulation. Aneros really takes 'fit' into consideration, and they make a variety of sizes that really allows an individual/couple to progress from beginner to maverick.”
The original Vice was a recipient of the AVN “O” Awards for Outstanding Male Product, and the Vice 2 is only better. It has a total of 18 vibration patterns and four speeds, producing 72 sensory experiences. It also comes with a controller, which is where your partner can join in on all the fun. You can also leave it in while having sex with your partner, which will lead to an intense, full-body orgasm.
"The Chorus is great for P-in-V because it offers clitoral, G-spot, and penile stimulation all at once, so it provides enhanced sensation for everyone," says Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., Kinsey Institute researcher and member of the Men's Health advisory panel. "Plus, it’s hands-free, waterproof, and has customizable vibration settings, making it a very versatile toy that can give you a different experience every time."
"The Moxie is a wearable clitoral vibrator that is held in place in your underwear via a magnetic clip," Lehmiller says. "This remote-controlled device allows your partner to send vibrations from a distance or discretely wherever you might be."
"Verge is a versatile toy that can add a new dimension to both solo and partnered play," Lehmiller says. "This remote-controlled, wearable ring stimulates the penis and perineum at the same time. Couples can use it for play from a distance or during mutual masturbation to add a novel element, but it can also be worn during intercourse to provide sensation for both partners."
"Molding a replica of your own (or your partner’s) penis can be a fun, erotic, and novel activity in and of itself," Lehmiller says. "In addition, the end result is something that can be used alone so that you can feel your partner even when they aren’t around—but it can also be used as a unique couple’s toy for those who want to simulate what a threesome might be like or otherwise experiment with having another penis in the bedroom."
"For more advanced P-spot stimulation, this strap-on can be a good choice for exploring the world of pegging," Lehmiller says. "You can add a bullet vibrator or swap out the dildos based on your comfort and preferences, making this a flexible and versatile toy."
It's a cock ring! It's a prostate massager! It's...the Simul8! "This prostate massager has a double penis ring attached, which provides vibrating sensations throughout your nether regions," Lehmiller says. "It can be used alone or with a partner during a variety of sexual activities and is worth considering for those who want combined P-spot and penile stimulation. It’s also waterproof and has dual-motor control to allow customizable stimulation for each area, thus allowing the opportunity to explore new things each time and adjust to your comfort and preferences."
A wand-style vibrator like Le Wand is easy to hold and allows you to access multiple parts of the body. If your partner has a vulva, Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator and founder/CEO of b-Vibe & Le Wand, recommends using it while she's on top. This gives her the freedom to stimulate her clitoris and allow your hands to explore all parts of her body. "This position is great for foreplay, especially if you do wish to start with an actual lap dance," says Sinclair. (Bonus: Depending on the angle, you can also stimulate her G-spot.)
We can't say enough good things about the Magic Wand, the classic sex toy that's been helping vulva-owners orgasm since the '60s. Between the cord and the size of the toy itself, it might be a little on the clunky side, but the sheer vibrational power makes it all worth it. You could even weave the size and power of the Magic Wand into a kinky Dom/sub scene: "You're clearly so horny, I'm gonna have to use this to calm you down..."
If you haven't explored the wonderful world of clit-sucking vibrators...welcome. This small vibe is easy to pair with vaginal or anal penetration, or as part of your regularly-scheduled foreplay routine!
A basic bullet vibrator like this one from Lovehoney is an easy and affordable way to add clitoral stimulation to almost any penetration position. The small size makes it easy to slip between bodies—or into your pocket if you're taking it on the road.
Remember that blended clit/G-spot orgasm we talked about in the intro? This stainless-steel toy is another great way to make it happen. If you're going down on someone with a vulva, use this wand for some simultaneous internal stimulation. Pro tip: pop it in the freezer before you get down for some fun temperature play.
If you already bought Le Wand, you might as well splurge and buy the Le Wand Silicone Attachment, too. The attachment fits on the end of the wand and transforms it into a masturbation sleeve, so anyone with a penis can enjoy the best "handjob" of their life.
If your or your partner is open to anal play, using a small vibrating butt plug can be an awesome source of extra pleasure. “Start out by massaging gently with a finger or inserting something petite like the b-Vibe’s Novice Plug, which will add additional pleasurable sensations and pressure,” Sinclair says.
For those more experienced with anal play, this vibrating butt plug—also from b-Vibe—simulates the sensation of getting a rim job. Pro tip: you don't have to use it in your butt; some people find it pleasurable to wear a vibrating butt plug in their vagina. Consider it as a way to take oral sex up a notch.
A collar/nipple clamp combo is ideal for the couple interested in dabbling in some light kink. If either you or your partner have sensitive nipples, then they're a must. Applying a consistent pinch to your nipples is enough to make you and/or your partner orgasm twice as hard.
This couples' sex toy is unique because it uses oscillating motors, not vibrating motors, to stimulate the wearer's penis, while "the vibrating portion on the top side can bring a female partner to pleasure and orgasm while riding," says April Lampert, the global head of sales for Hot Octopuss.
If you have some cash to drop and a large apartment to properly store this bad boy, then you should get the Motorbunny BUCK. It is the world's first and only hybrid saddle vibrator and thrusting machine. Unlike the original Motorbunny, the BUCK has two separate thrusting motions allowing for deeper penetration.
The Bionic Bullet is a vibrating cock ring, but it's made with vulvas in mind, too. It actually has two rings, one that goes around the base of your penis, and another that goes around your testicles. It has rabbit ears at the end of the ring, which can stimulate your partner's clitoris if you align yourselves correctly during penetration.
As we note in our roundup of the best butt plugs on the market: "The Vector isn’t just a vibrating prostate massager you stick in your behind. Half of the Vector is dedicated externally to your perineum, which is another erogenous zone often ignored on men. Both heads adjust so you can make sure it really hits your spot(s), and We-Vibe actually has an app to control the 10 vibration speeds."
The BlowYo is the ultimate blowjob or handjob accessory. You wrap it around the base of your penis, and with one of their hands, they stretch it up and down your shaft. Then, they can work your tip with their other hand (or mouth).
The Commando is a classic-style cock ring, perfect for the guy who wants longer and harder erections. There's nothing fancy about it, but sometimes, you don't need anything fancy to get the job done.
Stop stuffing multiple pillows under your partner's back and start being a grown-ass man who buys sex pillows. Sex pillows—also known as sex wedges or sex cushions—can help your bodies get more in alignment and allow you to access feel-good spots you otherwise wouldn't be able to hit.