80 Sex Questions to Find Out Exactly What Your Partner Likes in Bed

You'll never know what they're into unless you ask.

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Whether you’ve been intimate for years or are just beginning the physical component of your budding relationship, it’s probably a good idea to learn what your partner likes sexually. It’s crucial to know their turn-ons, turn-offs, fantasies, and pleasure points. It won’t just make sex better for them, it’ll make sex better for you, too. I can’t be the only one who gets turned on seeing my partner moan ecstatically because they’re loving how I gently kiss their neck.

As every therapist has said since the dawn of mankind, communication is key. So go on and ask your partner some sex questions to get to know them better. Don’t ask questions like “How many guys have you had sex with?” That in no way affects you and can make your partner feel self-conscious or slut-shamed. You want to ask questions that help you better understand your partner’s arousal patterns, kinky thoughts, and mindset before, during, and after sex.

Here’s a list of 52 sex questions to ask your partner to get to know what really turns them on in the bedroom.

(Note: Some of these questions are rather explicit. Be considerate when asking them. Don’t ever force of pressure your partner to respond to anything they don’t feel comfortable answering. Also, start with the tamer questions before asking the more graphic ones.)

Questions About Kissing and Touching

    Questions About Oral and Penetrative Sex

    • When did you first learn about sex?
    • What was it like the first time you had sex?
    • How would you describe your family/community's attitudes around sex, and how did that affect you?
    • What’s your favorite part about having quickies?
    • How much eye contact do you like to have during sex?
    • How long do you usually like to have sex for?
    • What are your favorite sex positions?
    • What makes you orgasm the fastest?
    • Have you ever tried anal? Would you want to try?
    • Do you like anal play on a man?
    • Would you ever want to try pegging?
    • Do you like having sex in the shower?
    • Do you like giving blowjobs? What do you like about it?
    • Do you usually like having rough or gentle sex?
    • Do you like doing 69?
    • Do you like sex with the lights on or off?
    • Where do you like penis-owning partners to ejaculate?
    • What makes sex amazing for you?
    • If you could only have sex in one position for the rest of your life, which would it be?
    • What's a totally overrated sex position, in your opinion?
    • What kind of protection do you use during sex?
    • How do you feel about using lube?
    • How do you feel about incorporating weed and sex?
    • How do you feel about giving or receiving rim jobs?

      Questions About Kinks and Sexual Fantasies

      • How can I make your biggest sexual fantasy come true?
      • Do you like being spanked?
      • Do you like spanking others?
      • Do you find yourself more dominant or submissive during sex?
      • Do you like role play?
      • What names do you like calling a partner during sex?
      • What names do you like to be called during sex?
      • What’s something sexual you hesitated to try but ended up loving?
      • What's something sexual you thought you'd love, but ending up not caring for?
      • Do you like watching other people have sex?
      • Do you like being watched having sex?
      • Do you like being choked during sex?
      • Do you like choking your partner during sex?
      • What type of porn turns you on?
      • What's something you've seen in porn that you've always wanted to try in real life?
      • What's something you like watching in porn but you'd never want to try in real life?
      • What’s the most unusual place you’ve ever had sex?
      • What’s an unconventional thing that turns you on?
      • Do you like incorporating food while having sex?
      • Do you like getting your hair pulled during sex?
      • Do you like being tied up or tying up your partner?
      • Have you ever tried sensory deprivation using a blindfold or earplugs?
      • If you could have sex with any famous person living or dead, who would it be?
      • What's the sexiest movie you've ever watched?

        Questions About Group Sex

          Questions About Sex Toys and Sexy Accessories

          • What are your favorite sex toys to masturbate with?
          • Which sex toys do you like to use during sex?
          • Do you like it when men wear jockstraps?
          • Do you like wearing lingerie during sex?
          • What was the first sex toy you ever bought?
          • Where do you keep your sex toys?
          • Do you prefer vibrating or non-vibrating toys?
          • Do you prefer buying toys online or in-person?

            Questions About Sexting and Nudes

            • Do you like taking nudes?
            • Do you like receiving nudes from a partner?
            • What's your go-to position for taking nudes?
            • Do you enjoy sexting with a partner?
            • What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve sexted?
            • Have you ever had FaceTime sex?

              Questions About Sexual Aftercare

              • What kind of sexual aftercare is important to you?
              • Do like to cuddle after sex, or do you prefer to have some space?
              • How would you feel about showering together after sex?
              • How long do you like to cuddle after sex?
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