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Our Sex Columnist Answers 20 Questions About His Own Sex Life

Zachary Zane dives into the questions he gets asked the most.

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Well, hello there, Men's Health MVPS.

I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer, bicon (that's bisexual icon, FYI), and ethical manwhore who’s generally known for having a ton of sex. Arguably too much, if that were a thing. Over the years, I've dated and slept with a shit-ton of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). That’s why I have the renown privilege of being the “Sexplain It” columnist here at Men’s Health.

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Over the course of my rise to sexcapade stardom, people ask me the same questions repeatedly, often over social media. While I do my best to answer, I can’t always get to everyone. (Also, let’s be real, I’m disappointed when you slide into my DMs just to ask me personal questions. I get my hopes up when I think you’re trying to fuck.)

For this reason, I’m very excited to have the opportunity to answer 20 burning questions I get all the time. You're about to learn more about me than you ever wanted to know.

1. How many people have you had sex with?

    I asked this question to my girlfriend in college, who was much more experienced than I was, and she replied, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” Hm... I'm not sure. I'd say 1,000...ish? I’ve also been using that number for a while now, so let’s say 1,050? The older I get, the more I find myself wanting to sleep with the same person again if the sex was good. Why go looking for it elsewhere when I have it right in front of me?

    2. What are some things that turn you on?

      Honestly, it would be easier to list what doesn’t turn me on. I know I’m probably supposed to be “good” and say things like someone who is “kind” and has “a great smile,” but let’s be real, I’m here for the booty. (But yes, I also get turned on by someone’s personality. I like someone who’s funny, or rather, thinks I’m funny. I also like someone who reads. Oh, and I need someone who’s forgiving because I make mistakes, though I definitely do my best to learn from them.)

      3. Have you ever been pegged?

        Yes, obviously I’ve been pegged. I take every opportunity there is to stick something up my butt. And in my experience, the women who are into pegging are really into pegging. They love finally fucking someone else, instead of always getting fucked. They also love the power that comes with making a man squirm (with ecstasy). I love seeing the pleasure they get from having sex with me.

        4. What’s your favorite sex position?

          Being in the middle of a train where a man is doing me from behind and I’m having vaginal sex with a woman. It’s difficult to finesse, but it satisfies many of my bisexual fantasies. And if we all manage to orgasm at the same time, it’s heaven.

          5. Are you attracted to men or women more?

            Alright, I included this question because I get asked this a lot, but seriously, you shouldn't ask a bi person this. For one, it excludes nonbinary folks. One of my partners is non-binary. (And before someone comes for me on Twitter, no, I don't see this question as being exclusionary of trans folks, because trans women are women and trans men are men. They're included when you say men and women. Period.) Second, why does it matter? When I like you, I like you. It doesn’t matter which gender you are. Third, it’s really difficult to quantify attraction. If I had to guess, I have sex most often with men, but that’s because men are thirsty AF. I can hop on Grindr and go over to a guy’s house to bang him on my lunch break. (To my editor: Just kidding, I never do this...)

            6. What are the differences between having sex with men and women?

              This is an interesting question, but again, one that's exclusionary of non-binary folks, so I'm not a huge fan of it. That said, I'll still answer it because there are some big differences, most of which are learned and not innate. Men, in my experience, tend to be more aggressive and sure of what they want. If I ask, "What do you want me to do?" They know and tell me. All too often, when I ask a woman that question, they reply, “I don’t know.” I'm a sex columnist, not a mindreader. Tell me what you want. Still, I've noticed that bisexual and polyamorous women tend to be more dominant and vocal about what they want sexually. I’m very much here for that.

              7. Wildest place you've ever had sex?

                I’m not sure what exactly constitutes "wildest," but I had sex with a woman in a hostel in Cork, Ireland, while everyone else was asleep. I’ve gotten a blowjob in a library. I once swapped head with my Lyft driver. Then, of course, sex clubs. As of late, I’ve been doing it on my roof. I realized that literally no one can see us. It’s nice because after we get to watch all the fireworks that haven’t stopped going off in Brooklyn for the past month.

                8. Favorite sex toy?

                  I like having something up my butt while I top (am the insertive partner). I love b-Vibe butt plugs. Full transparency, I’m their brand ambassador, so I have to say that, but I would have said it regardless. They even have this butt plug that simulates rimming (analingus) and that, my friends, that is the future of sextech.

                  9. Are you cuddler?

                    I love to cuddle... if I like you. If I’m drunk and orgasm and realize I’ve made a huge mistake, then no, I don’t want to cuddle, but I still do, because I'm not an asshole.

                    10. Most intense sexual kink?

                      Sloppy head. I'm talking really sloppy, throat-fucking, messy, gagging, and pukey. (You guys, there's actually a word for my puke fetish: emetophilia. Google at your own risk!) I like doing it to other people and like it being done to me too. It definitely has a dom/sub aspect to it, which I’m very much into.

                      11. What’s the most number of people you’ve had sex within a day?

                        In a day? Hm… I attended this party in Amsterdam called Meat Market at Club Church (link NSFW). The way it works is all the bottoms (receptive anal partners) line up with hoods on so they can’t see anything. Then, the tops, which included me on this occasion, go around and stick our dicks in anyone we please. (This is all done consensually! The bottoms can stop at any time!) I think I fucked eight different guys that day. And then, what was funny, is I went to the Red Light District that evening and had sex with a female sex worker there, too. So I think, that’s like nine people total?

                        12. Have you ever had sex with a sex worker?

                          I guess this nicely follows from my last story. I have! And when she asked me what I did that day, I told her about Meat Market, and let me tell you, she was not impressed. Honestly, pretty biphobic, but whatever, we still had sex.

                          13. Go-to pickup line?

                            I’m not a huge pickup line kinda guy. If it’s IRL, I say “Hi, I’m Zach,” and I smile. It’s very clear in their response if they’re interested in me and want to keep talking or not. If they give me an enthusiastic smile and reply with their name, then I know I’m set. From there, I’ll just ask how their night is going and whatnot. If they don't seem interested, I stop talking to them. Simple.

                            14. Favorite type of porn to watch?

                              I love watching porn of things that I can’t do in real life. I love that fantasy element. So, two hot porn stars fucking? Nah, I can do that. (I've also fucked plenty of porn stars.) I watch a lot of Hentai (the more tentacles the better). I love that faux-shoplifter porn, where a shoplifter has to have sex with the security guard after being caught stealing like, a ten dollar pair of earrings. It’s so fake, many of the porn stars in the videos I know by name, but it’s still fun to jerk off to.

                              15. What has been the largest age gap between you and a sexual partner?

                                I’d say like, 35 years, maybe? (For reference, I'm currently 29 years old.) I went on a date with a sex therapist who was 50 when I was 23. (Obvi we had sex, and it was great.) I remember her daughter was roughly my age. I also had sex with an ex-porn star who had to be close to 60, and holy shit was he Zaddy. Honestly, the best sex I’ve had is with folks who are up there in age. They know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it. Oh, and I head sex with a woman at Hedonism II (a sex club in Jamaica) who had to in her late 60s, if not older.

                                16. Have you ever had your heart broken?

                                  Haven’t we all? I was devastated when my first girlfriend and I broke up when I was 17. I was sure we were going to get married and grow old together. After we split, I cried for two months straight. But as they say, the first cut is the deepest.

                                  17. Your ideal type of relationship?

                                    I feel like I’ve tried every type of relationship: monogamy, open relationships, throuples, polyamory—you name it, I’ve tried it. At this point in my life (and this could always change), I’d like an open relationship, but one where my partner and I loosely date other people. I guess this could be considered a form of hierarchical poly, but not really. I want one partner, and then we fuck other folks together and separately with each other's knowledge.

                                    18. How long has your longest relationship lasted?

                                      Not that long. I’ve had a few relationships last roughly a year, but none much longer than that. Am I now ready to finally "settle down?" Unclear, but my mom surely hopes so.

                                      19. Go to dirty talk phrases?

                                        I am Daddy. You will treat me like Daddy. Do what you will with this information.

                                        20. Most times you’ve ejaculated in a single day?

                                          My friend recently told me he’s ejaculated 19 times in a single day, and seriously, what the fuck? I’m not shaming him, but that sounds ridiculous. I think the most I’ve ejaculated in a day is five times. (Actually, this wasn’t that long ago. I was really horny one day in quarantine.)

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