These 100 Dirty 'Would You Rather' Questions Will Stump Anyone Who Loves Sex

Would you rather scream your ex’s name during sex, or have your partner scream their mom’s name?

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Would you rather, but make it sexy. Now that’s an article I can get behind. To be honest, 'would you rather' questions are a fantastic way to connect with someone new or to get the fire going with someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a long time. Add in a sexual twist, and who knows what could happen?

You can learn a whole lot about a person by the choices they make in this game. I personally find it especially telling when a person follows up with a need for elaborate context. “I'm considering the option where I have sex with the mermaid, but can you tell me a little more about mermaid vaginas?” Like, just answer the question! We're all trying to have fun here! I kid. Kind of.

Luckily, we did the heavy lifting for you and came up with 100 of the best sex-related would you rather questions to ever exist. Will some of them give you nightmares? Maybe. But it’s a risk we’re hoping you’re willing to take. Most of all, enjoy!

100 Dirty 'Would You Rather' Questions

  • Would you rather orgasm every single time you enter a grocery store or never orgasm during sex?
  • Would you rather accidentally send a sext to your mom or send a nude to your ex?
  • Would you rather get sexually aroused any time your boss called or get sexually aroused any time you worked on a spreadsheet?
  • Would you rather have the best sex of your life for one night or mediocre sex every day for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather spend the next two weeks in a cock cage or get a daily ass paddling by Satan?
  • Would you rather orgasm 150 times a day or never have an orgasm again?
  • Would you rather poop on your partner’s dick every single time you have anal or every time you jizz/squirt, it’s bright green?
  • Would you rather sleep with someone you think is disgusting, but the sex is off-the-charts or sleep with a person your find extremely hot, but the sex sucks?
  • Would you rather be terrible in bed or a terrible kisser?
  • Would you rather only ever be on the top during sex or only ever on the bottom?
  • Would you rather have great sex every single day, but never ever have an orgasm (again, literally ever) or never have sex again at all?
  • Would you rather masturbate until your penis/clitoris is completely raw once or never never be allowed to touch your genitals again?
  • Would you rather never have foreplay of any kind again or only have foreplay and no penetrative sex of any kind for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have sex with a goat and no one would ever know or not have sex with a goat, but everyone thinks you did?
  • Would you rather have your parents see your sex tape or watch your parent’s sex tape?
  • Would you rather never have another cocktail again or never get another blowjob?
  • Would you rather never be allowed to wear underwear again or never be allowed to wear socks again?
  • Would you rather never use sex toys again or never use a microwave again?
  • Would you rather receive oral sex from someone with a mouth full of hot sauce or by someone who uses their teeth (like a lot).
  • Would you rather never be able to have sex again or every single time you drink water, there’s a little drop of pee in it?
  • Would you rather hold your partner’s face and stare into their eyes for 5 hours straight or never get to be that close to them ever again?
  • Would you rather scream your ex’s name during sex or have your partner scream their mom’s name?
  • Would you rather be with someone who is so amazing in bed that every single time is life-changing, but the rest of the time you’re in a screaming fight or have decent sex, twice a month and the rest of the time your partner is your best friend?
  • Would you rather only be able to do super acrobatic sex positions or only be able to do the missionary position?
  • Would you rather yell out “Yes, grandma!” every single time you orgasm or have to tell your grandmother, in detail, all about your last sexual encounter from start to finish?
  • Would rather never come again or never be able to have your favorite meal again?
  • Would you rather cry every single time you have sex or emit a blood-curdling scream at the time of climax?
  • Would you rather have no sensation in your genitals or have so much sensation that it was almost painful?
  • Would you rather only be able to have sex in public places or be confined to having sex in one specific place for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather never watch porn again or have your mom read your porn search history?
  • Would you rather only be able to have sex in the bathroom or only be able to have sex in the kitchen?
  • Would you rather BE a sugar daddy or HAVE a sugar daddy?
  • Would you rather sex always be completely dead silent during or have to scream at the top of your lungs, from start to finish, every single time you did it?
  • Would you rather only ever be able to have sex in one bed for the rest of your life or never have sex in a bed ever again?
  • Would you rather have sex that only ever lasted 3 minutes or 3 hours?
  • Would you rather sleep with someone who has terrible body odor or who never brushes their teeth?
  • Would you rather fart every time you climax or get a really intense bloody nose?
  • Would you rather wear a romper every time you have sex (good luck making that happen, tbh) or be forced to walk around completely naked for one whole day?
  • Would you rather never wank again or never have sex again?
  • Would you rather only have sex in the middle of the night or right when you wake up?
  • Would you rather only have oral or only have anal for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather give up cheese for life or give up masturbation for life?
  • Would you rather have sex with a duck once (the have scary corkscrew penises, FYI) or shit your pants every time you orgasm?
  • Would you rather only get horny in deeply inappropriate situations or never get horny again?
  • Would you rather never be able to hold hands or kiss your partner in public or only show really aggressive forms of PDA?
  • Would you rather have sex with someone who stays completely still like a starfish or stays completely silent like they’re studying for finals?
  • Would you rather have someone pee on you during sex or pee on someone else during sex?
  • Would you rather only ever be able to have sex in the morning or at night?
  • Would you rather have sex with your biggest celebrity crush or your favorite porn star?
  • Would you rather end up with someone who would never kiss you or would never perform oral sex on you?
  • Would you rather have sex in bathroom of a Taco Bell or in your car in the church parking lot?
  • Would you rather have sex with a mermaid (or merperson) whose lower body is that of a fish, or a fishperson whose upper body was fish and lower body was human?
  • Would you rather be super rich but never again be sexually satisfied, or be super sexually satisfied forever, but have zero dollars?
  • Would you rather only be able to have romantic sex for the rest of your life or super kinky sex?
  • Would you rather have a sex playlist that only contained Taylor Swift songs or Blink 182?
  • Would you rather give oral sex to your most hated ex or your mortal enemy?
  • Would you rather only be able to sext or only able to have Zoom sex?
  • Would you rather sneeze every time you orgasm or orgasm every time you sneeze?
  • Would you rather have to give an important work presentation naked or never be able to see your partner naked again?
  • Would you rather kiss someone who wears a TON of lipstick or who has cracked, dry lips like that of a shedding snake?
  • Would you rather have sex with Thomas The Tank Engine on in the background every time you have sex or intense thrash metal?
  • Would you rather have a threesome or join the Mile High Club with a stranger?
  • Would you rather get punished in a sex dungeon or be forced to watch the Fifty Shades trilogy every night for two weeks?
  • Would you rather be able to give all your partners multiple orgasms or have them give you multiple orgasms?
  • Would you rather make out with someone who just ate a bunch of brussels sprouts or a huge bag of Funions?
  • Would you rather have sex on a beach (without a towel or blanket) or under a freezing waterfall?
  • Would rather be with someone who always initiates sex or who expects you to initiate all the time?
  • Would you rather never have another orgasm or never be allowed to use the internet again?
  • Would you rather date someone boring AF who is amazing in bed or someone with a kickass personality who sucks in bed?
  • Would you rather kissing and touch all night, but not be able to have sex or have sex all night long, but not be allowed to kiss at all?
  • Would you rather give up kissing or give up orgasms?
  • Would you rather only be able to use dildos or only be able to use vibrators?
  • Would you rather someone dribble hot wax all over your body or wear a complete latex bodysuit, complete with ball gag?
  • Would you rather get a really heartfelt love note from your partner or a super, dirty, filthy sext?
  • Would you rather be someone’s sex slave for a month or wear a chastity belt for a month?
  • Would you rather try something new in bed every single night or stick to a tried-and-true routine?
  • Would you rather watch porn with your partner or make porn with your partner?
  • Would you rather date someone with a fetish for wearing latex gloves in bed or a fetish for wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask in bed?
  • Would you rather swallow for the rest of your life or spit for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have a threesome with someone you know or a total stranger you met on an app?
  • Would you rather try something totally new in bed tonight or go for something you know is guaranteed to give you an orgasm?
  • Would you rather have a permanent hickey on your neck or have to go into a job interview with a (very visible) hickey?
  • Would you rather shout “I love you, Mom!” every single time you orgasm or shout “RIP, Prince Philip!” every time you orgasm?
  • Would you rather sprain your penis/clitoris during sex or sprain your back?
  • Would you rather use mayonnaise as lube or ketchup as lube?
  • Would you rather get an erection every single time you laugh or laugh every single time you get an erection?
  • Would you rather only be able to have sex with the first person who gave you and orgasm or the last person who gave you an orgasm?
  • Would you rather have sex with someone who calls you “sugar baby bunny” during sex or won’t talk dirty, in any way, at all?
  • Would you rather shit your pants every time you get turned on or throw up?
  • Would you rather have sex with someone who insists on talking dirty in a bad British accent or with someone who does all their dirty talk in a (really off-putting) baby voice?
  • Would you rather only be allowed to masturbate to Broadway musicals or only be allowed to masturbate to porn that lasts 15 seconds like an Instagram Reel (and it doesn’t loop)?
  • Would you rather have your sex toy die in the middle of your sex session or lose your orgasm entirely?
  • Would you rather not be able to use your hands during sex or not be able to see during sex?
  • Would you rather only be able to have sex in cars or only be able to have sex in showers?
  • Would you rather receive a Gcal alert every single time your parents have sex or have your parents receive a Gcal alert every single time you have sex?
  • Would you rather never have sex again or only ever be allowed to eat fruit for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather pay to have sex or be paid to have sex?
  • Would you rather get spanked every single time you have sex or have your hair pulled (really f*cking hard) every single time you have sex?
  • Would you rather only be able to orgasm while brushing your teeth or only be able to have an orgasm while tying your shoes?
  • Would you rather be kissed and licked all over your body, but never on the mouth or only ever be kissed and licked on the mouth?
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