I Spent 2 Weeks on Sniffies, the Horniest New Sex App...and It Delivered

Find out what happened during 14 wild days.

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Like every queer man I know, I have been “over” Grindr for years. I’m annoyed how the app everyone clearly uses for hook-ups is trying to brand itself as something more wholesome. According to its site, Grindr now prides itself in being “the world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people.” Excuse me, social networking? I didn’t think sending a picture of your dick to 50 strangers online counts as social networking.

Besides the weird sense of self-denial and apparent brand confusion, Grindr has had several off-putting fiascos in recent years, like when they got caught sharing users’ HIV status with other companies, or when the former Grindr president wrote on Facebook that he believes “marriage is a holy matrimony between a man and a woman.”

Then, of course, there is the endless supply of flakes on Grindr. I reached a point where I would confirm three guys coming over to my apartment, knowing that at least two would bail. I can't tell you how tired I am of a guy saying, “On my way,” and when you follow up an hour later to see where they’re at, they block you. (I cleaned out my butthole for you, dude! Come on!)

This all raises the question: Is there somewhere else I can go for dependable casual sex?

An answer presented itself in the form of Sniffies, an "app" I decided to try in late March. I put “app” in quotes since it’s not available on iOS or Android because it’s too sexually explicit. Instead, you have to access it from your web browser.

After creating an account, I quickly learned that Sniffies is all business, or rather, the boys are open for business. No chit-chat, no nonsense. On Sniffies you can post full-frontal, a booty pic, or a hole pic as your profile image. (You can’t do that with any app on iOS or Android.) You also know where everyone is on a map in relation to you. It’s set up like “Find My Friends,” only instead of finding your friends, you find bussy. (FYI: The app seems to be heavily populated by cis gay and bi men, though I've seen nonbinary babes and trans men and women on Sniffies, too.)

Sniffies also has a section for public cruising, where you can "check-in" at a physical location to let other users know you're there and looking. If you’re in the mood to suck some peen at a park or sauna, you know where to go.

As an orgy connoisseur, the app's most intriguing feature is the fact that people can post about orgies they're hosting. There are anywhere from five to ten “cum dumps” in New York City a day. (In case you're unfamiliar with the term, a cum dump is when a bottom lets countless men come over and deposit their loads in his anus. Hot.) People tend to list their orgies a few days in advance so that other Sniffies users can plan accordingly. To attend, you simply need to message the orgy’s host, and they can accept you.

Being a sex writer, I knew I had to document my experiences to share with other guys who love casual sex as much as I do. Here’s what happened in my first two weeks on what very might be the world’s horniest sex app.


The Sniffies Experience

Day 1: Tuesday, March 29

I create my own profile and add three pics of myself: one of my dick; one of my body; and one of my booty. Then I add some stats (height, weight, sexual position, penis size), and kinks.

sniffies profile
Zachary Zane

Within three minutes, I have five different messages, each from guys within a mile from me. I let them know I’m swamped with work but am down for a quickie. Two guys want a longer session, whereas three guys are cool to come over, let me plow them, and leave the moment I’ve orgasmed.

I choose the guy with the juiciest booty and ask him his ETA. He says he could be at my place in 15 minutes. Exactly 15 minutes later, there's a knock on my door. Within a minute, he is in his jockstrap, bent over my bed. After I finish, he thanks me for the load and promptly leaves. The entire encounter takes 9 minutes total.

It's exactly what I wanted: a midday quickie so I could go back and focus on my work. We exchange numbers and he tells me to hit him up anytime.

That evening, one of the other guys I spoke to earlier is still online. I ask if he wants to come over to fuck. He is down! We do a nice little flip fuck (meaning we switch between topping and bottoming) for about 45 minutes. After we both cum, we cuddle for a bit, but he is out of my apartment within an hour. I sleep like a goddamn baby.

I am very impressed by my first impression of Sniffies. It's sex on demand, like Grindr used to be, and I'm ready for the fuck-fest that's in-store for the next two weeks.

Day 2: Wednesday, March 30

During the day, I make plans to hook up with a man that evening. He messages me when he gets home from work, asking if I can meet him in the lobby when he gets to my building. He was recently in Jamaica, where he got mugged by a man he brought home, and is a little shaken up. So, I meet him in the lobby. His voice is soft and he's shaking slightly, so I do my best to be overly affectionate and bubbly to make him feel safe. I give him a big bear hug, and we take the elevator up to my apartment.

I take things slower with him since he’s clearly anxious. We start with a lot of making out and rubbing our bodies against one another. When he takes off his undies, I’m overwhelmed by the booty and start feasting. We have great sex and cuddle for about 30 minutes while taking hits from my cannabis pen. We chat about some of the best and worst hookups we’ve had.

When he leaves, he thanks me. He confides that he nearly canceled coming over but wanted to put himself back out there. He knew the longer he waited to have casual sex again, the less likely he'd be to ever meet up with a guy from online.

I feel like I did a mitzvah—a very fun and pleasurable mitzvah.

Day 3: Thursday, March 31

I'm offline as I’m swamped with work. (I don't even have 9 minutes to spare!)

Day 4: Friday, April 1

“I want you to throatfuck me,” says a guy wearing a ski mask in his profile picture. His mouth is open wide, filled with semen.

“Yes,” I reply, before giving him my address.

“ETA?” I follow up.

He says he’ll be there in 20 minutes. About 25 minutes later, he’s at my door. He deepthroats me like it's his job, and I orgasm in about 7 minutes.

“I’m down to do this again,” he says while putting on his shoes.

“I mean, I’m always down,” I reply. “Just hit me up.”

There was something oddly empowering about the transactional nature of the hookup. We both knew what each other wanted (me, to orgasm; him, to swallow my load) and felt great about it. It's affirming to be with someone else who enjoys this type of transactional sex the same way I do. I'm starting to realize that this might be the best part of Sniffies—or, the second-best part, next to the sex itself.

Day 5: Saturday, April 2

I’m offline, seeing my boyfriend.

Day 6: Sunday, April 3

I’m offline, seeing friends. I wasn't tempted to check Sniffies over the weekend. When I'm out with people and having fun, my desire for casual sex goes down. When I'm bored, alone, or stressed, it shoots through the roof.

Day 7: Monday, April 4

Speaking of which, work is destroying me, and this gets me in the mood to suck some dick. I message "What's up?" to three guys who have a picture of their penis in their profile pic and list their dick size as 8 inches or more. (To be honest, I'm not typically a size-queen. As we all know, bigger isn't necessarily better, but I am in one of the moods where I just want a massive schlong.) One guy responds. I tell him it’s been a rough day, and I need to suck some dick.

I head over to his place. He’s wearing boxers and a white ribbed tank. I quickly take off his undies and swallow him whole, jerking myself off at the same time. We finish simultaneously.

“Damn,” he says while I pull my pants back up. Maybe he says that to all the boys, but as self-proclaimed throat goat, I have a feeling I was still one of his best. I have to admit, it feels pretty damn good getting that positive review when I know just how much sex guys are having through Sniffies.

Day 8: Tuesday, April 5

I invite someone over during my lunch break for a quickie. The sex isn’t anything all that exciting, but it hits the spot. I don't need toe-curling, earth-shattering sex at noon on a Tuesday. I just needed a quick release because I write about sex all day, and when you write about sex all day, you get horny and distracted. Once I cum, I'm able to focus on writing.

Day 9: Wednesday, April 6

My boyfriend is over when I get a text from the first man I fucked on Sniffies a week earlier, my 9-minute hero. I show a picture of him to my boyfriend and ask if he wants to have a threesome. My boyfriend is down. Then, I show a pic to Mr. 9 Minutes to see if he’d like to hook up with me and my boyfriend. He is very down. Forty-five minutes later, he's over, and we have a sexy-AF threesome.

Day 10: Thursday, April 7

Nothing sexy happens. I’m too busy with work and am seeing friends in the evening.

Day 11: Friday, April 8

A man comes over after work to have sex just as the sun is setting. We start with a little analingus 69 (i.e., I eat his booty while he blows me). I then top him and am enamored and aroused by how incredibly smooth his body is. The sex is excellent, and we both vow to do it again sometime.

We never do reach out to each other again, but I'm fine with it. When there's a revolving door of men, you don't get sad when you don't hear from one guy again because you're already distracted by whatever you're getting up to next.

Day 12: Saturday, April 9

Since I’m throwing a sex party tonight, I don’t hook up with anyone on Sniffies. Instead, I focus on getting ready for my bisexual sex party, BISLUT.

Day 13: Sunday, April 10

I’m still coming down from the sex party and am all sexed out.

Day 14: Monday, April 11

Realizing it's the end of my second week on Sniffies, I look online to see if any orgies are happening by me that evening. Nothing is near me in Brooklyn, but there’s a cum dump at a hotel in the West Village. I send a message asking to see if I can join. I get approved and get the address. A total of nine guys are confirmed to attend.

I arrive at 7:30. (The cum dump was listed from 7-9 p.m., and one should always be fashionably late to these things). Four guys are there. The bottom (i.e., cum dump) is on the bed, sucking a man’s penis while getting railed by a second man from behind. The fourth guy is next to the bed, watching and jacking off. I drop my undies and start stroking the penis of the guy who's masturbating. He starts stroking mine. I’m hard as a rock and ask if I can get a turn with the bottom.

I rail him for about 5 minutes until I say I’m about to cum. “Cum in me,” he says, and I do so with glee. I’m a little annoyed at myself for finishing so quickly. It took me 40 minutes to get there from my apartment, and I came within 5 minutes.

I lie naked on the queen bed next to the bottom, who’s now taking another man’s dick. I figure I don’t have to leave just because I came.

I watch as he takes the load of the next man. Then the next. Around 8:00 pm, three more guys enter the room. Each of them quickly strips down to start thrusting. Around 8:15, there are only two guys left, and I am hard as a rock again. I let the bottom suck my dick again, and this time, I take my time before busting inside of him. At 8:45 pm, I thank the gracious host and hop on the Q train home.


The Final Verdict on Sniffies

I’m sad to say that in my 14 days, I didn’t make it to a steam room or park for some good ol’ fashioned cruising. But honestly, I had plenty of fun without it because guys fuck on Sniffies. They don’t flake the same way as guys do on Grindr. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s because it's not a mobile app, so you don't get notifications. Once you close our browser, you won't know if someone messages you—so if you want to get some action, you gotta make it happen ASAP.

I also think the dependability of Sniffies' user base has something to do with the site's messaging. There’s no ambiguity about what Sniffies is. It’s not a social networking app. Sniffies describes itself as a “meetup app” that was “designed to make meeting guys as quick, easy, and exciting as possible.” You're not going to find your next boyfriend here, and Sniffies isn't pretending otherwise. They’re not saying that you’ll be able to find a job here, or reconnect with your old BFF from high school. Unless, of course, your old BFF from high school is hosting an orgy.

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